"Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore, seems I'm not alone at being alone."
Lyrics from the song ‘Message In a Bottle,’ by The Police.
The above is some brilliant writing and I could probably write a blog based on the lyrics the Police have written over the years. The idea of putting a message in a bottle is an old sort of romantic notion perhaps of sending out a random message left to chance and putting it in fate's hand that someone is going to come and help.
I think ideas like that are ones we hold on to because at times we feel alone. Like when we are going through something that may be difficult, and feeling depressed or stuck. Depression can be anything as serious as a life-altering event or that mundane feeling of being stuck, in a sense of everyday life feeling stale. Staleness and depression can be similar and often intertwined. They can both cause loneliness, like being on an island with your only hope being a message of desperation sent in a bottle. I like the second part of the above quote because we are not alone, and there is a very good chance that someone has or is going through what you are. There is another song I like called ‘Alive and Kicking’ by the band, Simple Minds. The message I take from the song is old, but simple. We must put the live in alive and keep fighting for everything we want in a life that seems to go quicker than we realize.
So how do we do that? It can be tough when life altering events can set us on a path of depression where everything seems daunting, and certainly it's difficult to figure out how to shake things up when they become stale. We need a reset when things take us off course, and a hard reset when life stops us in our tracks.
The first thing we have to do is keep reminding ourselves what the above quotes are alluding to, that there are a billion plus people that could be struggling right now. I will be the first one to remind you it is important to share and ask for help. None of us are truly an island no matter how much it feels that way sometimes. No one gets through hard times without some kind of help, inspiration and guidance to help get back on the right path. Depression can come in so many forms like the severity of life-changing events, the feeling of missing something or someone, maybe a path not taken, or simply that things have gotten stale in your everyday life, leaving you feeling stuck.
Resetting means accepting that you are still living, internalizing that positive change is needed, and it’s okay. You don’t have to fear it. I’m not saying you have to change everything about who you are, because at your core you will always be you. You need to let yourself accept that moving forward will look different. Kicking and fighting against anything holding you back.
Find things that excite you, inspire you and start doing them, even if it’s just taking small tentative steps. Then let yourself realize that fighting depression, and not feeling stagnant in your everyday life is a fluid thing that we must keep working at. I love to write because it allows me to share in one of my most effective ways. I am thrilled to be sitting here and just purely writing. Recently I just finished my first book, which will be available on Amazon September 10th. Shameless plug I know, but there was a period of what has been a very exciting and long time coming, finishing the last editing portions that were a lot of work. It felt repetitive, almost stale sometimes, and I wanted to just get back to writing; but doing the work to make sure it turned out how I envisioned the book to be was crucial.
My point is, that even when you find something you love, pieces can feel boring sometimes. It’s all necessary to ensure that your goals and reasons why you started in the first place are realized. It can’t be blissful all the time, even when you're chasing your bliss. You get to a point where you have to reset, reinvent yourself, or your routine and when it gets difficult, remind yourself of your why. Go back to the quote at the top and read it over and over as many times as you need, because it is so true.
I have heard many different explanations of why depression sets in. One that is very common is a dream, or maybe a few, not being realized. Another is people getting stuck backwards, in a time when they did something great, felt successful and recognized for their achievements. Maybe feeling that those times have passed them by. To those people I say what’s your next dream or goal? I have also heard depression described as needing deep rest. So get some needed rest, let yourself reset, and go after whatever you want kicking and fighting against any negative response you get. It’s hard when you feel unmotivated and alone when it comes to finding the energy and a right path. We all have moments of wondering why, but those can be good, thought-provoking periods of time in our lives. It’s when we stop asking why it becomes dangerous, making way to become stale and possibly worse, like sinking into depression. Ask yourself why right now and start working on the answer.
If you have a person who has done the same thing day in and day out their whole life for eighty years never realizing dreams vs. a person who has lived fifty years, done 80 things including realizing all or most of their dreams; whose life would you rather have? Depression sets in when we lose the want and courage to keep moving forward. Becoming stale in our endeavors happens when we cannot remind ourselves why we started, the inability to reinvent or reset, all the time keeping an eye on the horizon with goals and dreams at the forefront of why we are going towards it.
I’m back to writing, but I also wanted to try something new that has sparked my interest but I’ve never explored for myself, watching others do it and wondering. I just finished my first sailing course!
What are you doing for yourself? Get after something. Leave the past in the past, and never mind the anxiety of trying something new. I will say it again, “put the live in alive!”
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